52-The Gain Shift: How to Change Without Deprivation

LET DESIRE LEAD CHANGE - So many of us try to change our lives by chasing what we want less of - less stress, less chaos, less debt, less weight, less exhaustion. But loss is not a direction. It keeps you managing damage instead of building a life you actually want. In this episode, we flip the coin from loss to gain - and talk about how clarity around what you want creates energy, peace, and forward motion. We’ll unpack why desire is not unbiblical, why suppressed desire leaks out sideways, and how gain based decisions make boundaries, structure, and rest feel like freedom instead of deprivation. You’ll also hear a simple two week example you can copy to start gaining what you really want - without shame, striving, or burnout.

Key Takeaways
Loss based goals keep you reactive - gain based goals give you direction, momentum, and a life you can actually sustain.
Desire is not the problem - vague, borrowed, and suppressed desire creates pressure, comparison, resentment, and drift.
When you lead with what you want to gain, boundaries, structure, and rest stop feeling like restriction - and start feeling like protection for what you value.

Action Guide
Pick one area where you’ve been saying “I want less” and rewrite it as a gain. Less stress becomes more peace. Less spending becomes more stability. Less chaos becomes more order. Choose a simple time frame - 7 days or 14 days - and ask: What does this gain need from me this week? Make 2 to 3 decisions that support it, then reassess at the end. Did you gain anything - and did the journey feel freeing enough to keep going?

The Next Thing

• Join the StoryMakers Lab! Check out the women's coaching library here.
• Share this episode! Know a woman who needs encouragement in her journey? Send her this episode!
• Connect with me! Follow me on Instagram @coachlauramalone and DM me your biggest takeaway!
• Step into your calling! Learn more about my coaching and resources at Sterling & Stone Coaching.

✨ You are a StoryMaker. You are powerful, chosen, and capable. Step into your calling today. ✨

Music by https://uppbeat.io/t/andrey-rossi/seize-the-day. License code: 6RD7Q6IO81E7MI2S.